I've written a book on dating and consider myself a dating expert in the U.S. But dating a Latin man is like taking a final exam in a different language... you might know the subject but the nuances are different.
A Latin Man's Relationship with His Family
I love my family, and I even talk to them regularly, but I've learned that my relationship with my family is very American. A Latin is intertwined with his family in many ways that I never fathomed. For example, when I started dating my sweetheart, I met his family on Skype. Once they realized we were serious, each family member took turns Skyping me and then stared at me as if I were an animal in a zoo. As uncomfortable as I felt, I just had to smile and make small talk (translated, of course) while they stared and commented on my white skin or my green eyes. After the novelty of Melissa-gazing wore off, I started having almost daily chats with his mother and brother. They wanted to know everything about me, from my religious beliefs to my opinions about my country. I've never had a two-hour chat with a family member of anyone I've been involved with before, let alone a two-hour chat once or twice a week.
A Latin Man's Relationship with His Friends
I have been blessed with amazing friends, and they are my sounding board. But as much as I love my friends, I keep some things to myself. It's not that I don't trust them... au contraire... it's just that I've been hardwired to keep some things private. My Latin man shared many details with his friends that I assumed were private. In the middle of the day, I would get a call from one of his many different friends, wanting to discuss my relationship plans. Whoah! Was I even sure what my relationship plans were? No need for me to know, because his friends helped me figure them out.
A Latin Man's Need to Take Care of His Woman
I love and protect my little dogs, and I've often wondered what it would be like to be so coddled and cared for. Dating a Latin man shows me what that is like that. He wants to love me, spoil me, care for me, and protect me. Not only does he open my door, drive when we go out, and do other similarly chivalrous acts, but I also know he would also do physical harm to anyone who tried to hurt me. Although I don't like or condone violence, I feel very safe with him at all times.
A Latin Man's Language
If you go to Google Translate and you type in ten sentences in English, the Spanish (or Portuguese) translation will take up much more physical space. Latins have a beautiful language, but it has many more syllables than English does. In a perfect world, my Latin man would understand all of my pithy comebacks and American slang the moment I say them. The reality is that communication takes a little longer. There are words and phrases we need to translate, and there are entire sentences that just don't make sense. Knowing that we'll never have a Spencer and Bacall relationship is okay, though, because I love listening to him speak his native language when he's talking about something he loves, whether it's Formula 1 racing or his family or his love for me.
A Latin Man Is Fundamentally Latin
Living in Latin America, I've made friends with other "American-female and Latin-male" couples. The thing that they all say after being in a relationship long-term is that the positives outweigh the negatives. But the main difference at the end of the proverbial day is that I am fundamentally American in how I think and act and he is fundamentally Latin. If I try to make him a mini-me American, our relationship will fail miserably. I need to embrace the differences and understand that there are indeed differences.
Knowing the positives and the negatives, I'd date another Latin man in a heartbeat. But since I've already got a great Latin man, hopefully my dating career has come to an end.
A Latin Man's Relationship with His Family
I love my family, and I even talk to them regularly, but I've learned that my relationship with my family is very American. A Latin is intertwined with his family in many ways that I never fathomed. For example, when I started dating my sweetheart, I met his family on Skype. Once they realized we were serious, each family member took turns Skyping me and then stared at me as if I were an animal in a zoo. As uncomfortable as I felt, I just had to smile and make small talk (translated, of course) while they stared and commented on my white skin or my green eyes. After the novelty of Melissa-gazing wore off, I started having almost daily chats with his mother and brother. They wanted to know everything about me, from my religious beliefs to my opinions about my country. I've never had a two-hour chat with a family member of anyone I've been involved with before, let alone a two-hour chat once or twice a week.
A Latin Man's Relationship with His Friends
I have been blessed with amazing friends, and they are my sounding board. But as much as I love my friends, I keep some things to myself. It's not that I don't trust them... au contraire... it's just that I've been hardwired to keep some things private. My Latin man shared many details with his friends that I assumed were private. In the middle of the day, I would get a call from one of his many different friends, wanting to discuss my relationship plans. Whoah! Was I even sure what my relationship plans were? No need for me to know, because his friends helped me figure them out.
A Latin Man's Need to Take Care of His Woman
I love and protect my little dogs, and I've often wondered what it would be like to be so coddled and cared for. Dating a Latin man shows me what that is like that. He wants to love me, spoil me, care for me, and protect me. Not only does he open my door, drive when we go out, and do other similarly chivalrous acts, but I also know he would also do physical harm to anyone who tried to hurt me. Although I don't like or condone violence, I feel very safe with him at all times.
A Latin Man's Language
If you go to Google Translate and you type in ten sentences in English, the Spanish (or Portuguese) translation will take up much more physical space. Latins have a beautiful language, but it has many more syllables than English does. In a perfect world, my Latin man would understand all of my pithy comebacks and American slang the moment I say them. The reality is that communication takes a little longer. There are words and phrases we need to translate, and there are entire sentences that just don't make sense. Knowing that we'll never have a Spencer and Bacall relationship is okay, though, because I love listening to him speak his native language when he's talking about something he loves, whether it's Formula 1 racing or his family or his love for me.
A Latin Man Is Fundamentally Latin
Living in Latin America, I've made friends with other "American-female and Latin-male" couples. The thing that they all say after being in a relationship long-term is that the positives outweigh the negatives. But the main difference at the end of the proverbial day is that I am fundamentally American in how I think and act and he is fundamentally Latin. If I try to make him a mini-me American, our relationship will fail miserably. I need to embrace the differences and understand that there are indeed differences.
Knowing the positives and the negatives, I'd date another Latin man in a heartbeat. But since I've already got a great Latin man, hopefully my dating career has come to an end.
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